Blooming El




The word itself sounds harsh, troubling, a nuisance. When saying the word out loud, it doesn't automatically create a feeling of sorrow or loss but when one is grieving, this is exactly how they may feel and how the word is defined.

One thing I've learnt about grief, or grieving, is that it comes in waves. From the moment you have experienced a loss, it feels like you've boarded a roller coaster that hasn't reached it's peak yet, a roller coaster on a flat line, trudging along slowly.

This can't be happening. No, this is all wrong. I'm going to wake up in a minute, this is all a dream. 

uk lifestyle blog blooming el

Then the roller coaster tilts, your head embracing the sky above you. You're climbing higher and higher until you've reached the top of the first slope. Except you don't feel elated, you feel hurt and upset and you feel like it's the end of the world.

You start your descent, your body throwing itself in to the metal safety bar. Despite your loss, despite what you are feeling, the roller coaster keeps going. You can see others boarding rides and queuing in lines, completely unaware.

Then you start to rise again and you know that soon, your head will be captured by the clouds above. The hurt, pain and confusion lands on your cheeks like droplets of rain - sometimes it spits, other times it pours but in time, the sun breaks through the clouds and the track evens out.

You may never leave the roller coaster ride but you'll get used to riding the track. You'll embrace the rain that dampens your lashes and take comfort in the thought of the impending sun.