Blooming El



As some of you may know, I lost my Nanny Shelagh in December last year. Even though my Nan was ill, her passing came as a massive shock. You just assume that someone will get better, that they'll get the help they need and be right as rain in no time. Unfortunately, life isn't like a fairytale and sometimes happy endings are hard to come by.

I've already shared my thoughts on grief and even now, five months on, I'm still on that rollercoaster. The track is evening out a little and I've been blessed with sunshine a few times.

I was listening to 'Taking Chances' by Celine Dion a few nights back and it reminded me of being in my Nan's car, singing along to Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, and Mariah Carey. I started thinking about all the little things my Nan used to do, the small things that I now miss. So today, I'm sharing some of them with you...

When you'd ask me questions on an answer phone message and pause as if you're waiting for me to reply.

Thursday evenings spent eating takeaway and watching Neighbours.

Visiting the Brookdale Centre, or any shopping centre for that matter, and insisting that you bought me something just because I said I liked it.

You screaming 'fuckshitbolloxpisswank' whenever you did something wrong in the kitchen.

Asking me to flick through the Avon book.

Giving me something new to eat and when I refuse, you'd say 'but it's niiiccceeee'.

Belting out Celine Dion or Whitney Houston in the car and performing a power grab for dramatic purposes.

Chatting about a Criminal Minds episode and how handsome Matthew Gray Gubler is.

Trying to find the mini penis you'd hidden in your Christmas tree.

Refusing to go anywhere without putting a bit of nivea and lipstick on.

Purchasing something (that you'd most probably never use) from QVC at two o'clock in the morning and showing me it when it finally arrived.

When G and I would go on holiday or a one night getaway and you'd WhatsApp me asking for pictures of where we're staying.

Telling me I should get highlights in my hair, like ALL the time. 'Oh go on!'

I did get a little emotional writing this post last night, so I went upstairs to compose myself (I'm an aquarius, we handle tears by ourselves).

I came back downstairs to find 'Because You Loved Me' playing on the radio, which is the song I chose to be played at my Nan's funeral. Now if that isn't a sign that she's watching over us, I don't know what is!